Focus on the Good

Focus on the Good

I remember when Mommy died, because well it wasn’t even two years ago, and whenever I got flustered or upset, I’d say or think (depending on the situation)… “my momma is DEAD.” Nothing was more serious than that. NOTHING. And for that reason alone, I gave myself permission not to deal with anything else if I didn’t want to. About 75% (a vast majority) of my energy was for figuring out my life without my mother, which meant living alone for the first time, altering my daily life which no longer included cancer, asking myself questions like “what now,” and trying not to be sad while frying chicken.

Whatever energy I had left was for me. It was for date nights, and “too much food” Tuesdays, and firsts, and cleaning my house, and whatever else I wanted to do. That means any negativity brought into my life was QUICKLY shut down and/or met with the harshest attitude, even if I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t able to approach certain things with the gentleness of a woman who had her mother available. But, somehow, most of the time I genuinely felt happy. Despite my loss, I was happy. Maybe because before Mommy died, about 90% of my energy was devoted to “my momma is dying”and I finally had some energy to spare, but I believe some of the reason why I did so well is because I chose what to give my energy to.

At the time it was because I didn’t have any energy to spare for negativity and high stress situations, but now it’s because I like it better this way. I haven’t gotten it down to a science just yet, but I know that it works. I just have to remember to use it. I feel better about life and I feel better about me. I get more stuff done. I know what and who stresses me out and I try my best to avoid or limit my interactions with them. I’m not saying it’s a good idea to ignore things that are important or time sensitive, like your dissertation, but I am saying don’t spend too much (or any) time with people who irritate you. I’m saying not to say yes, when you want to and should be saying no. I’m saying don’t pressure yourself to create a four course meal every night. Give yourself a break.

Then with all the time and energy you’ve spared yourself by avoiding things that may upset you, do something that gives you pleasure. Take a walk. Plant a tree. Enjoy a movie with your boo thang. Cuddle. Have a bowl of ice cream. Take a nap. Do something good. Quietly count your blessings. Focus on the good things that are happening in your life and if you can’t think of anything today, that’s what memories are for. Remember the good. Count the good. Focus on the good and sure enough, it’ll become easier to see.

Conyers Food Truck Festival 2014

Date Night: Conyers Food Truck Festival

For my birthday, Husband bought tickets for us to go to the Conyers Food Truck Festival. The date was approaching and it looked like the weather wouldn’t hold up. I was disappointed, but on the morning of, the rain stopped long enough for us to get out and try some food. Yay!

We decided to get there early, get in and get out, before the rain started again and the lines were long. It was an excellent plan. This ensured us a good parking space and dry hair. Yay! Here’s the run down:

I started with a sandwich from Pressed for Time Paninis. I got the Bubba BBQ, which was pulled pork, BBQ sauce, and macaroni and cheese pressed between two slices of bread. Now, I have no idea what’s up with this pasta on a sandwich trend, if you recall, I had spaghetti on a sub at the last AUM, but I do know that when I see it, I get excited. It’s such an inappropriate choice.

Pressed for Time

Husband, of course, started with a cupcake from the Yum Yum truck. He got a Betty, per my suggestion. He’s an all chocolate everything kind of guy, so I knew it would be perfect for him. It’s a spectacular brownie with chocolate chunks topped with a chocolate buttercream. I tried to get that as our wedding cake. That didn’t happen, but It was good. I got a cupcake too and brought it home in my purse. His was better though. Go figure.

husband's cupcakes

For dessert, I had a crepe from A Moveable Feast. Nutella and strawberry. I had my first crepe at the Broward County Youth Fair in Miami a few years ago. I haven’t found one quite as good yet. I’ve tried. This one didn’t match up either. But this was a French food truck…that had bottled water from France. Details matter people. I thought that was a great touch. I wonder if other people noticed.

Whole Roasted Pig

We saw a whole roasted pig! I bet he was delicious! I wasn’t sure if he was going to get cut up, he wasn’t on the menu.

Whole Roasted Pig

I wanted to try chicken and waffles from another truck, but I was full. So we departed to continue our adventure elsewhere, but not before a mini photoshoot between the cherry blossoms. I felt like the princess of Zamunda with all the petals at my feet!

Cherry Blossom Collage

If you missed the food truck festival, there’s a food truck park off of Howell Mill Rd. It’s open Wednesday through Sunday. For times and truck schedule, check the Atlanta Food Truck Park website. There’s live music, picnic tables, and it’s free to get in. Lots of fun.


SATC: Fancy for No Reason

I understand that what I’m about to say may set me up for judgment, but be kind. I have never really been a fan of Sex and the City. Whenever the craze started, I wasn’t available to take part. I’ve seen a few episodes, but I missed out for the most part and I was okay with that. However, I have seen the movies, thanks to DirecTV and I know, from reading, that they aren’t the best representation of what the series was really like, but I can enjoy it for what it was to me: A very long commercial for fashion products that I’m not willing to afford right now.

The movies were stunning. Just all around pretty. These women, the fashion, the locations, and the entire films were a testament to it never being a bad time to look better. I was completely and utterly SLAIN when Carrie decided to go to an outdoor walking flea market in THIS ensemble.

Carrie Bradshaw in Christian Dior at the Street Market

I shouted at my tv. REALLY? Why dress so nicely to walk in an alley to buy fruit?

I’m obviously no Carrie Bradshaw, because I’m a firm believer in not wasting an outfit. You know what I mean, right? Going somewhere regular and wearing your nice clothes or wearing a nice outfit and you don’t have an opportunity for anybody to really see you shine in it. Maybe that’s wrong. Maybe we should ALWAYS opt for the nice outfit. Maybe we should always try to look a little better, no matter where we’re going. I wouldn’t say do it with the intention to be seen, but do it to feel like you want to be seen. That wouldn’t hurt anybody.

Truth is, I’ve been veering towards this path for a long while. After the freshman year “I can really wear pajamas to class?” ordeal, I’ve been making it a point not to dress “comfortably” when I have the option to dress to the 9s. Or at least the 7s. Ok…just choosing something better.

Challenge: If you go out this weekend, try to over do it for something you wouldn’t normally give your best look. Now, I’m not saying rock your wedding gown to the mall, unless you want to and if that’s the case, please send me THOSE pictures, but maybe wear heels to a matinee when you’d normally wear tennis shoes or flip flops. Wear your super sparkly earrings with denim before 5PM. Just kick it up a notch, for no other reason than because you can. Go forth and be fancy!

I’m going to try it over the weekend. I have an event to go to and although I’m not the guest of honor, I’ll try to figure out a way to dress something up without stealing the show. I’ll post a photo on my instagram. If you participate, share your photos with me using #SATCFancy